Han

I have had the urge to post once again. I really should not make this a habit. I could be obliged to blog every week and that would be indeed disturbing.

Han. Han is a korean concept. It is a deep and profound sadness. It is so deep and so profound that one cannot even cry. Yet, in that sadness, there is a sense of hope.

I was thinking about that concept. It made me wonder if that is what the Holocaust survivors felt, sadness with hope. I wonder if I will ever feel as strong as an emotion as Han.

I think about all the things that I have felt sad over in my life. I find the need to question whether any of those times I have been sad was really true sadness. Reading about Han just makes me wonder whether any of the emotions that I feel are really true emotions. Compared to Han, my sadness is nothing but a shadow of it. Will we ever feel the "true" emotions?

Han is just a concept but still. It is almost like I know what Han is and I have felt it before yet, how could I have? I have not gone through true hardship and sadness like others of my age. I do not think that I am entitled to feel Han but still the feelling lingers.

Pfft... I'm just going on about something stupid. lol, That stuff up there doesn't even make sense. I'm just going on about nothing. XD. Well, it's fun to go on about nothing sometimes.

A short post. Do you see?

It's called guilt

As the name suggests, I am blogging out of guilt. (It really has been a long time since I blogged...)

Lots of things have changed, methinks. For example, I did not get a B in Geography (Hallelujah!). I mean really, that's truly a miracle. Then again, I have been trying in Geog... I think it would have been a bit unreasonable if I had got a B.

Well, dearest Kooka died. I believe that she is up there somewhere (still prancing around and chasing swallows). That would be another reason why religion is so important. Besides the valid point that religion could have been merely a fiction of the human mind, I do think that there is a God out there. Call it blind faith, but it still gives me faith and hope. So I don't think that I can get too wrong. I mean, if something gives you a little hope and faith, what's the harm in believing?

I have a cold! Mind you, it was my dad who gave me this cold. I did think that I wouldn't catch it from him, but it seems I have. Damn, where has all the luck gone?

I've been really lazy for the past couple of days. I really haven't done any work. I would feel almost guilty but I really do feel lethargic. Blame it all on the cold. These colds can give you such a turn.

I find that food gives me a lot of joy in my life. I really cannot be stuffed about body mass and all that (Shock and horror for Gwen). If there's food that I want, I WILL enjoy it and love every moment of it. I will NOT feel guilty while eating it. Though I admit that I may feel guilty afterwards. Frankly, I do believe in the philosophy that you can eat anything that you want if you eat in moderation and if one exercises. With that, you can really do anything. Yes! Come KFC!

(If you are wondering, I did eat KFC tonight. I did not eat too much, much to my dismay. I think I may be losing the appetite)

Bah, I'm not going to sleep well tonight.

I feel guilty. And no, it is not because I have not blogged. I mentioned that up there. Blegh. Er... Well anyway. Ying, I'm so sorry that I didn't wish you luck. Hmm... I did call you on Friday, but you didn't answer. Moving on...

I crave for jelly. I want jelly. I need jelly. I seriously want to make some jelly now. Jelly.....

I had an urge today. I had this immense urge to play golf. So, if Stoof decides to play golf, then I will play with her. Actually, my mother suggested that I play golf. I did take golf lessons but um, I was not obviously good. Hmm... in any case.

Overall, I think that this semester has been a success. I didn't get so many Bs! Joy! AHAHAHAHA!!! I really do suck.

Ahem. MR DOWNIE IS A STUPID TEACHER. I HOPE HE DOES SOMETHING WEIRD AND CHANGES HIS TEACHING STYLE. I am shocked. I really wish we didn't have Mr Downie for Science.

I hear that you lose quite a few brain cells while having a cold. In that case, if I sound dumb or stupid to you, you know what to blame it on. Blame the cold! Muahaha...

BLAME THE COLD. ahem...

I'm running out of things to say. How pleasant. I feel like I'm going to sneeze. Okay... maybe not. Omg, I've been sneezing so much.

I shall now... say good bye....

Blegh.